i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
