Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Sext me about skeletons
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
