the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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