i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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