You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
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