dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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