Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
