you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
