I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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