Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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