he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Just high enough for therapy.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Randomize
