I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
