I wish I could punch you in the face.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
