party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
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It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
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Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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