if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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