My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
