I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
