You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize