Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Someone came in the potted fern
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
