I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
