PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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