just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
