I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Randomize
