i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
