This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
