Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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