But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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