you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
