I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
