Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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