It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
