question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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