And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
