I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
