bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
