i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
