we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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