If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
