Ambien. No doubt about it.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
