I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
