We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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