wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
