thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
