It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
