that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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