Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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