when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
