Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
