Three words: puerto rican gang bang
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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