I got chris browned last night
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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