yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
