I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
