it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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