she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
