You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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