She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.