Texts From Last Night

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  (914): View more from New York

  my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet

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  (914): my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet http://tfl.nu/lao3
  Replies (55) Good night (2787) Bad night (5004)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again

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  (757): it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again http://tfl.nu/q7wy
  Replies (29) Good night (5251) Bad night (1748)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover

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  (314): rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover http://tfl.nu/mxp0
  Replies (15) Good night (5262) Bad night (1220)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"

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  (403): Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters" http://tfl.nu/r2rb
  Replies (6) Good night (2677) Bad night (1470)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.

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  (610): Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other. http://tfl.nu/3et0
  Replies (6) Good night (3045) Bad night (1177)
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  (562): View more from California

  The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.

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  (562): The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night. http://tfl.nu/3w1s
  Replies (4) Good night (1020) Bad night (883)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..

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  (813): Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it.. http://tfl.nu/d0rc
  Replies (5) Good night (1690) Bad night (746)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.

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  (250): At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here. http://tfl.nu/zp01
  Replies (7) Good night (906) Bad night (2370)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head

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  (815): I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head http://tfl.nu/qmtv
  Replies (18) Good night (1468) Bad night (1974)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?

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  (309): Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else? http://tfl.nu/zqde
  Replies (5) Good night (826) Bad night (452)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..

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  (570): Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours.. http://tfl.nu/vg6d
  Replies (1) Good night (726) Bad night (437)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips

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  (262): ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips http://tfl.nu/avor
  Replies (2) Good night (754) Bad night (399)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?

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  (218): We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant? http://tfl.nu/7kck
  Replies (3) Good night (577) Bad night (752)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.

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  (516): Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE. http://tfl.nu/3y8r
  Replies (0) Good night (462) Bad night (315)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink

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  (315): so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink http://tfl.nu/z7su
  Replies (2) Good night (756) Bad night (415)

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