: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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