why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?