Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...