Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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