i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
