Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
