he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Randomize
