he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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