I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
