And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Terrible idea I love it
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
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