This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
