Rock
Scissors
Fuck
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
