Sponge bath it is.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
