It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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