so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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